29 December 2010
Over a pint tonight at my usual bar an "aha" moment came. It's a moment I love in the writing of a short story, and there have been a couple of those in my current project.
I wonder sometimes if anyone around notices. I have to really think about it to recall the things that happen when that moment comes: I imagine that my eyes widen a little. I quickly write something down in my notebook, probably something short, just a few words that are enough to keep me from forgetting the general idea of what's just hit me. That's followed by a minute or so of non-writing, which includes a great deal of pen-tapping, excited twitching, and probably, tongue repositioning. Then, I think, there's some actual laying of ink on paper that comes in spurts. A little furious penwork, some more pen-tapping and waving, more words, more pauses.
Until now, I never really considered what the "aha" moment looked like. My usual bartenders have probably seen it more than anyone. It's sort of comical, really, and makes me feel like a ridiculous human being. But it's a necessary part of the process of... whatever I'm doing.
Sometimes I wonder why it is I'm actually writing fiction, since I don't really have any intentions of publishing through conventional means. I guess I'm leaving that until I have something I might actually want to publish. I mean, anyone who writes wants to get published. But that's not the same as actually having written something you think is worth publishing. And even then, I'm not sure just how I'd want to put the stuff out there. The game is changing in writing like it has in everything else.
And all of my projects keep getting out of hand, anyway. It'd be nice to finish something. But despite that, I'm kind of comfortable with the in-process stuff.
For now. You know.